Tuesday, September 4, 2007

The One That Got Away

Yard Sale Buddy blew me off today! To his credit I think it was a pre-emptive strike against ME blowing HIM off since I'm feverishly preparing for my Yard Sale on Saturday and he thought I was going to back out on our plans. Honestly I WAS toying with that idea but then I decided it wouldn't be fair to Yard Sale Buddy, we had been planning this trip for a week; so I was feeling doubly jilted when 11 AM came and he was way the heck over in Brockton doing his own thing. "Hmph, I don't need HIM" I thought, and headed down to the Cape to see a man about a fish. Remember, it is 10-Gallon-Hat Man with the wooden fish sign priced at $300 holding firm against Yard Sale Buddy's $20 bid and wouldn't it be great if I could hook that sucker just in time for Yard Sale Buddy's October 13th Birthday?!?

I arrived at the appointed location and was disappointed to find that maybe 10 Gallon's season was over; his 3 container trucks of goodies were sealed up tight and another guy was loading miscellaneous stray items into his ancient low-riding Cadillac. "You looking for Stan, he'll be right back;" my Day brightened and soon enough there he was. "Hi Darlin'!" his usual greeting, coupled with a pseudo hug disguising a vain attempt to cop a feel. I cut right to the chase: "I'm here for the fish." Then we begin the usual long dance of What Fish - You Know What Fish - Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens - No, I KNOW THERE IS ALSO A FISH.

Finally he starts opening the first container truck and I pointed, No, it's down in that one where the Stuffed Badger thing is... "It's a FISHERCAT" he bellows as he starts opening Door #3 then he peers in and shakes his head No, moving on to the middle container. I stick my head in Yep, there it is, I start pointing excitedly toward the back and Stan gestures at me like go ahead in and get it. Suddenly alarm bells start ringing in my head, maybe I have seen Goodfellas too many times but it was JUST like that scene where Robert DeNiro invites Henry Hill's wife to the garment district to let her pick out stolen designer clothes, he's waving "Go ahead, Go ahead" and she realizes she is about to get whacked and hightails it outta there. As confident as I am that I could kick Stan's 76-year-old arse in the parking lot in broad daylight, I am not about to get locked into a container truck with him! So I said no sense dragging it out here til we agree on a price. "200" he says. WHAT! Give me a break; I did not drive all the way down here to be insulted. I put together a few items and offered him 100 for them plus the fish, he just kept saying 200 for the fish and he'd throw in the rest for free. Unfortunately there was not enough stuff to sweeten the pot and warrant me dropping 200 bucks but I did leave with a primitive hutch and a cool old sign that says "The Dusty Bronco, rides 10 cents." He wanted 50 dollars, I shook my head and handed him 30 bucks saying "Whatever. I'll be back next week."

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