Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Keeping My Cool

By now you Regular Readers know that much like the shop itself, this Blog is not just about things Antique but also things Unique, pretty much anything Cool & Unusual that catches my eye. Random, even. My Husband had mentioned he installed a small air conditioner in our dog Izzy's bedroom which she graciously allows him to use as his Home Office. The other night I was tucking her in when what to my wondering eyes should appear but THIS!

Nice touch Kenny, trying to hide this buggery by closing the curtains partway... But let's just zoom in a little closer Dear Readers and you can insert your own four-letter-word after WHAT THE?

In case any of you run into problems installing your own Air Conditioner, apparently shoving a T-Shirt, a pair of jeans, a Cisco Networking Professional Self-Study Book, 2 shutter slats and a pair of Dockers underneath it will fix them. Just so you know. No wonder Kenny won that "Best Troubleshooter" Award at the Company Christmas Party; and no wonder he's always complaining he has nothing to wear, LOL.

I'm REALLY not trying to get cheap laughs at my Husband's expense... I'm just hoping my Handy Father-in-Law will read this and come to my rescue!! Meanwhile, I'm cool with it. Seriously.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Normally I try to keep the real venting to a minimum here but sometimes the SERIOUSLY? File in my brain gets way too full and I'm afraid I'm going to implode. So for the readers who like the snarky side of me, today is your Lucky Day!! First of all, let me just say it bugs the heck out me when someone walks into the shop and immediately screams HELLO? if they are not greeted within 1.2 milliseconds. I don't know why people treat antique stores differently then they would any business but seriously, Salvage Chic is over 2000 square feet and generally staffed by one person. Try walking into Jordan's Furniture and screaming HELLO? if Barry & Elliott don't immediately greet you; I'm pretty sure you'll look a little foolish.

Now, before you start thinking I'm a total jerk, I should mention that 10 times out of 10 when people come in and scream HELLO, it is followed by some really inane request. Like, "Those buoys that you have out front for $15 each, would you sell THREE for $15?" Ummm... No. "NO?" (incredulously) So incredulously, I felt like I needed to justify myself by saying that I probably paid more than that for them. "really? That's less than what you PAID for them? Do you mind if I ask where you GOT them?" Sure, we got them at an auction. "I see, really, and you can't sell 3 for $15, do you mind if I ask what you DID pay for them?" SERIOUSLY!! SERIOUSLY!! YES I DO MIND!! I mean, I'm all for haggling when I'm at a flea market or yard sale; but I would never insult someone with an actual business by offering them 1/3 of what they were asking and then act as if I were ENTITLED to it when they said no. Not even if I were in one of those antique shops that doesn't turn the heat on and gives you your stuff in their used grocery bags. I wanted to say "Hold On, let me call my landlord and see if he'll give me 3 months rent for the price of 1; and then negotiate 67% off of my telephone, internet and electric bills. You think the IRS would mind taxing me at 14% instead of 42% this quarter? Meanwhile why don't you go across the street to Cumby's and offer them 85 cents a gallon for gas and watch them laugh at you."

But I didn't. I decided the best way to end the conversation was to just re-state "The price of the buoys is $15 each." She left in a huff anyway; I guess I could've vented after all!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Get the Flock Out of Here!

Claudia showed up this weekend with a complete Flock of Pink Flamingos and proceeded to cram them all into the old washing machine out front. They looked Wicked Cool but I was like, are you sure you want to do that? I mean we've been really lucky no one's ever taken anything off the sidewalk but I'm pretty sure if you look up "Things Screaming to be Stolen by Pranksters", you'll find this picture:

I had brief thoughts of being called on my day off and reprimanded by the Pembroke Police for aiding and abetting criminals who might wish to defile town properties with tacky lawn ornaments. Either that or my usually lenient Landlord calling to say "What the FLOCK is with the FLAMINGOS?!?"

Fast forward to today; I opened the shop back up and went out to hang the flags, pleasantly surprised to see the gaggle of flamingos intact. No sooner had I opened than a woman arrived and asked How Much for the Flamingos? "$6 each", I replied. Hmph I thought maybe that was too much since she didn't bite right away but a little while later she asked "What if I buy 12?" Ah, YEAH, I can definitely give you a better price... she and her daughter happily scooped 12 up to use as favors for a 6th birthday party.

They had barely pulled out of the parking lot when a gentleman came in and asked How Much for the Flamingos? $6 bucks... I'll take one! And as I was counting out his change he said You Know What? I Better Get Two. The screen door hadn't yet smacked upon his departure when all of a sudden in bounded another woman. Claudia saw her in the parking lot and jokingly whispered to me "how much for the flamingos?" and sure enough, the woman exclaimed "HOW MUCH FOR THE FLAMINGOS?" We about died laughing. She scampered off with two and we realized we only had four left! Make that two... you know I can't resist a kitschy garden decoration.

The other two flamingos sold within the hour to two other women who were just so delighted to hear how popular they had been, they had to have one. I only wish I had more as all day people were clamoring in saying "I saw some flamingos out front yesterday?" Sorry... All Gone!

File this under Things I Didn't Think Would Sell... or at least so quickly!!

Stay Tuned for Tomorrow's Blog: When Coonhounds Meet Flamingos. My money's on Izzy but I think the flamingos might get the better of Duff.