Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Wreath-Making 101

Sunday morning started off quietly at the shop so I decided to reward myself with a little glue gun therapy for having survived The-Most-Hectic-Saturday-EVER. I don't know why, but there's something mind-numbingly soothing about gluing sh*t onto a wreath. Not to put Xanax out of business or anything, but I thought I'd share the process with those of you who might need a prescription for some holiday fun.

Start by finding a location to hang the wreath that's close to an outlet to plug your glue gun into and a table or counter or something to put your stuff on. Mine just happens to be hanging over the fire extinguisher in the back room, that's not really a requirement but it did come in handy that one time... OK, you know what, you should definitely hang it over a fire extinguisher.

Here's where I act all organized enough to have actually compiled all of my ingredients ahead of time. I do recommend that you do that, but normally I seem to be rooting through 16 boxes of Ornamental Christmas Crap with one hand while dripping hot glue on myself with the other.

I generally start with a "centerpiece" and some large related ornaments spread in a somewhat orderly fashion around the wreath.

Then I get bored with the basic ornaments and start adding more interesting pieces.

Before I get to the next step MAKE SURE you have a pencil or stick or some other foreign body to poke & tuck the filler elements into the wreath. Otherwise I guarantee you are instinctively going to use your finger instead and there is a 99% chance you will come in contact with the hot glue. If this happens, just remember that the word to scream is "FUDGE!" Especially if there happen to be small children nearby.

Now for the fun part, I just keep willy-nilly adding whatever catches my fancy.

Eventually my gut, or more often Claudia, will tell me that I'm done before it goes too-over-the-top.

The last step is naming my creation. I like to keep the titles playful yet relevant. This wreath has a lot of tacky elements in it but the red velvet gives it some richness, so I'm calling it "Velveeta". Because it's kinda cheesy - but I secretly like it.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Fa La La La La...

Fa Fa Fa FFFFFFFFFF... I'll let you guess what I was trying NOT to say when I overheard two women in the shop last week: "Never mind painting it to look OLD, why don't they just paint it to look GOOD?" Umm, yeah. I strive really hard for Salvage Chic not to be one of those achingly quiet shops where you feel like you have to whisper for fear the meddling shopowner is listening to your every word. Really, I have better things to do than eavesdrop. But in this particular case they were like 3 feet away from me and I wanted to say "HELLOOO? I'm right HERE!" What is wrong with people? I go into lots of antique/vintage shops where I think "GAG ME with the mahogany" or "Are they KIDDING me with these prices?" but I generally keep these comments to myself and just breeze out if it's not for me. You would not believe the stuff people say! I might have to make this a weekly feature.

Oh yeah, and just for the record... it WAS authentically old crackled paint; and it SOLD in about 2 days. I'm glad SOMEONE shares my horrible taste in furniture finishes.