Co-Dependency

Yard Sale Buddy's been M.I.A. so I called him up and learned his dumpster is finally getting picked up tomorrow and he's been feverishly trying to finish cleaning his yard. (YES it has taken a MONTH but that is another story.) He seemed to be having trouble focusing, he kept peppering me "What about those doors should I throw them away, what about those windows should I throw them away, what about those metal chairs..." it was all I could do not to reach through the phone and slap him. "I'll be there in a half hour don't throw ANYthing else away until I get there." He breathed a sigh of relief and said he would make a Dunkin run.

When I got there he wasn't back yet so I hopped out of my Jeep and - you guessed it - scaled the side of the dumpster to see what he had thrown in there. Oh man. All these great windows I have been selling one at a time in the shop for good money, he wasn't supposed to throw those away! Doors galore, I couldn't begin to count... Shoot, he was back, I ducked down and tried to look nonchalant as he yelled GET OUT OF THERE YOU DUMPSTER DIVER.

We strolled around the yard, I was really impressed with the progress he had made but then he held up these old hinges, the kind that snap a screen door shut, and said "I took these off that door before I threw it away..." WHAT! That vintage screen door! I wanted that for my house! "Oh, he says, well it's right on top" and next thing I know he's knee deep in debris in his dumpster trying to find it. Finally he saw it and started digging while I yelled "STOP, STOP, you're going to get hurt... but since you're in there, can you get those windows for me?"

Lions and Tigers and BUREAUS, Oh my...

Just in case they don't last the weekend I wanted to get a shot of these 3 beauties I bagged while I was out hunting this morning! I had a lead from a Realtor Friend that she had seen fresh bureau tracks at a house she sold that has to be vacated tomorrow, so I went over and snared the peach and green ones for a decent price. When it rains it pours, of course, as one of my Pickers showed up later with that chippy white one and of course I HAD to have it. So if you are in need of a bureau come in TODAY because I have plenty of bureaus but what I don't have is SPACE!! Duh maybe I should have thought of that before I bought them?

Spontaneous Combustion

That's exactly what I wished for when I made a grave faux pas on the phone today! I had just left a message for Yard Sale Buddy because someone was looking for old boxing gloves; as usual the phone rang back instantly, I swear he screens his calls. Anyway I answered "Good Morning, Salvage Chic" and I hear this "ahem, yes, my name is Shane and I'm with the Pembroke Fire Department..." I cut him off mid sentence "Oh right, and you're calling to tell me how HOT I am?" (Insert long awkward pause) "Um... no... actually I'm calling to tell you about our Comedy Night Fundraiser..." Oh my god it was so NOT Yard Sale Buddy!! Talk about embarrassing. Of course now I HAD to buy an ad in the program. And if you're not busy Nov. 1st, I have 4 tickets to the show...

Shoplifter's Remorse

Mack's Partner-In-Crime came over today with a lovely set of Lu-Ray dishes and a cryptic "you need to come see me" message referencing old linens. My curiosity was piqued and you can imagine my delight when Mack suddenly showed up volunteering to watch my shop so I could go over to N.O. and browse. Of course, you know me - ever the skeptic - luckily I had some radioactive dye packets to slip into the cash register in case he was planning a heist. Anyway I went over and got some lovely vintage tablecloths; while I was there I spotted this little quilt and when I went over to examine it was told "That's Mack's". As in "Hands Off." I didn't see a price so I just folded it over my arm and brought it back to Salvage Chic where I found Mack innocently reading an old Life Magazine. I tried to crank him up and say "Look what she gave me" with the quilt but he recognized it as his own and demanded to know what I wanted it for. I reminded him that I collect quilts and you know what he said? "Oh, it's for HOME... you can HAVE it... you're a good kid, despite what you write about me on the Internet" Oh man. I couldn't offend him and say No Thanks but now I have to go home and be reminded every time I look at it that Mack is a NICE GUY after all?!? NO THANKS!! Maybe I will bring it back. Would that be like an Indian TAKER? Worst case I could re-gift it to my Mom... oops wait she reads this Blog! I guess I am STUCK with it after all.

Which witch

was spotted out and about earlier this week wearing this disguise? Twas I, Salvage Chick! I had to protect my identity because I don't want people to know where I get all my stuff and more importantly... MACK has been blabbing to YARD SALE BUDDY about my every move as reported on this Blog! I know that Yard Sale Buddy is very sensitive, but I also know that he does not have a computer, so sometimes I write about things I wouldn't want him to know; I didn't realize my readers might RAT ME OUT! Just last Yard Sale Buddy got all up in arms that I went down the Cape to see the Man In the 10 Gallon Hat without him. I couldn't tell him I went there to try to buy that stupid fish sign for his BIRTHDAY so I changed the subject and said "What makes you think I went down there?" and he says "Mack told me". Oh Jesus. He must have passed him a note during seventh period math class, what are we TWELVE?!?

You Know Your House is Dirty When...

your Husband cleans it out of the blue... on his VACATION!! Yikes I knew things have been getting out of hand here, I kept saying I will deep-clean 'after the Yard Sale'... 'After the weekend at the shop'... Of course on my days off I find 1 million other things to do and usually only clean if all options (including root canal appointments) have been exhausted. Like for instance today, Yard Sale Buddy and I made a delivery to this Ritzy Shoppe Owner in Hanover who bought all THREE of my 20 gallon crocks plus a faux fireplace; then I went over to Claudia's to pick up this great bench with a pickety fence/birdhouse back we secured last night at an Undisclosed Location; turned out it wouldn't fit in my Jeep so she invited me to visit some MORE Undisclosed Locations with her and then delivered it to my shop. I must say in that Rally Wagon you do feel like an Antiquing Celebrity! I never thought there would be a vehicle that attracted more attention than Yard Sale Buddy's truck but sure enough Claudia's does. So anyway fast forward to my return home and I walk in, sniff-sniff... something seems different, I greeted Kenny and gingerly asked "Did you... clean?" YES he was all exuberant about it turned out he was relaxing playing his Xbox and he got distracted by what he thought was a 3rd cat hanging out in the corner (we only have 2) and it turned out it was a DUST BUNNY!

All's Fair in Love...

...and Birdhouses, apparently! Last week a friend brought me this fabulous marten house to sell at Salvage Chic. "No problem!" I said, "Let's put it out on the sidewalk, I bet it won't last the weekend!" Truer words have never been spoken. No sooner was it there than Yard Sale Buddy pulled up and started ogling it. I graciously suggested he could buy it from my friend, at the price of just the commission she would get if I sold it to a 3rd party... after all I don't need to make money off of my FRIENDS right? Insert SO-CALLED before friends there because later that night I got a message to "Please pull the marten house because it has been SOLD"... that's right, to YARD SALE BUDDY! Those two-timers went behind my back and wheeled and dealed!! The kicker is when I suggested Yard Sale Buddy buy it, I stipulated that after he fixed it up and resold it I would get a cut for brokering the initial deal... but even craftier was my FRIEND, who gave him a hugely sweetheart deal and then stipulated "But you can't resell it!" Hmph little does she know he would sell his own mother for a buck. I hope she put a Lojack in the thing to track it down after it's GONE for $1 more than he paid for it.

Why do I have this song in my head every time I leave Yard Sale Buddy's??

Paranoia Sets In

Sunday is always a good day in the shop because even if I don't sell much it means a visit from Mack and therefore, Excellent Blogging Material. Somehow he got wind of the folks who found my shop via a hop skip and a jump from Craigslist to My Favorite Place's website to mine and finally my Blog which drew them down to Bryantville to shop and of course they HAD to check out Never Open Antiques. Today he says all these new people are coming into his shop and when he offers them help they say "um, no thank you, just browsing", all the while casting sidelong glances at him and whispering "that's him that's the guy behind the coffee cup on the website who almost punched out Salvage Chick when she went to take pictures of his shop." I laughed it off and told him maybe he needs to ease up on the allergy meds as he is imagining things but I think maybe next Sunday I will offer folks 10% off their purchase if they agree to go over to N.O. and act squirrelly around Mack.

Now I'm off to finish plans to trick out my storefront for Halloween - HEY do you know any expert pumpkin carvers who could make me a Mack-O-Lantern?

Salvage Chick Stops Traffic

Quite literally, in fact! My Yard Sale Saturday was such a success the Halifax Police had to do a little crowd control and put up these signs all along one side of Route 106. My husband and I were a little nervous when the cruiser pulled up, especially me because I briefly thought maybe I was supposed to have pulled a yard sale permit... but the officer was very nice and even gave me extra signs to put up in advance should I have another yard sale. Which will not be anytime soon... talk about exhausting work. Exhausting, but rewarding! Now I have an empty garage and a nicely padded wallet, I'm going to FILL one while I EMPTY the other on my constant quest for fabulous things to sell at Salvage Chic! Thank You to all my customers who took the time to stop by the sale (at one point my Mom said 'Geez, you'd think you were the Mayor of Halifax, how do you KNOW all these people?') and also to Claudia for shopkeeping so I could hold the sale without closing, she sure missed some priceless Yard Saleing time herself!!

P.S. Please don't drop a dime about Slash's blatant disrepect for their signs thank god he is a Housecat or I would be bailing him out all the time on counts of being Drunk and Disorderly on Catnip.

Believe It... Or Not!

I've been getting tons of questions about this Blog and whether it is Fact or Fiction! Come on, you think I could make this stuff UP?!? And if I could, would I be sitting here in Pembroke peddling curbside treasures... instead off of having lunch with Oprah and Katie Couric while discussing my latest Blockbuster? Who do you think would play me in the movie? I'm thinking maybe a brunette Drew Barrymore but they would have to give her a messier haircut. Yard Sale Buddy... I don't know. Not too many actors have perfected the Boston Accent and I don't want it to look like I hang around with Cliff Clavin so maybe we could get Matt Damon to do it. On a side note some drunk chick once told my Husband "You'd look like Matt Damon... if you were good looking" so maybe Matt could play Kenny instead and we could just do "Starring Yard Sale Buddy... as himself." For Mack we definitely need the Joker from Batman or come to think of it any comic book villain would work as long as they are short.

This lady just came in to the shop gushing about how so-and-so told her to read my Blog and then she said "You have TOO MUCH TIME on your hands!!" I couldn't figure out if she meant the adventures themselves or the writing about it... either way she's probably right!

Who's your favorite character? Who do you want to know more about? What was your favorite story? and what can you NOT BELIEVE we actually did?

The One That Got Away

Yard Sale Buddy blew me off today! To his credit I think it was a pre-emptive strike against ME blowing HIM off since I'm feverishly preparing for my Yard Sale on Saturday and he thought I was going to back out on our plans. Honestly I WAS toying with that idea but then I decided it wouldn't be fair to Yard Sale Buddy, we had been planning this trip for a week; so I was feeling doubly jilted when 11 AM came and he was way the heck over in Brockton doing his own thing. "Hmph, I don't need HIM" I thought, and headed down to the Cape to see a man about a fish. Remember, it is 10-Gallon-Hat Man with the wooden fish sign priced at $300 holding firm against Yard Sale Buddy's $20 bid and wouldn't it be great if I could hook that sucker just in time for Yard Sale Buddy's October 13th Birthday?!?

I arrived at the appointed location and was disappointed to find that maybe 10 Gallon's season was over; his 3 container trucks of goodies were sealed up tight and another guy was loading miscellaneous stray items into his ancient low-riding Cadillac. "You looking for Stan, he'll be right back;" my Day brightened and soon enough there he was. "Hi Darlin'!" his usual greeting, coupled with a pseudo hug disguising a vain attempt to cop a feel. I cut right to the chase: "I'm here for the fish." Then we begin the usual long dance of What Fish - You Know What Fish - Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens - No, I KNOW THERE IS ALSO A FISH.

Finally he starts opening the first container truck and I pointed, No, it's down in that one where the Stuffed Badger thing is... "It's a FISHERCAT" he bellows as he starts opening Door #3 then he peers in and shakes his head No, moving on to the middle container. I stick my head in Yep, there it is, I start pointing excitedly toward the back and Stan gestures at me like go ahead in and get it. Suddenly alarm bells start ringing in my head, maybe I have seen Goodfellas too many times but it was JUST like that scene where Robert DeNiro invites Henry Hill's wife to the garment district to let her pick out stolen designer clothes, he's waving "Go ahead, Go ahead" and she realizes she is about to get whacked and hightails it outta there. As confident as I am that I could kick Stan's 76-year-old arse in the parking lot in broad daylight, I am not about to get locked into a container truck with him! So I said no sense dragging it out here til we agree on a price. "200" he says. WHAT! Give me a break; I did not drive all the way down here to be insulted. I put together a few items and offered him 100 for them plus the fish, he just kept saying 200 for the fish and he'd throw in the rest for free. Unfortunately there was not enough stuff to sweeten the pot and warrant me dropping 200 bucks but I did leave with a primitive hutch and a cool old sign that says "The Dusty Bronco, rides 10 cents." He wanted 50 dollars, I shook my head and handed him 30 bucks saying "Whatever. I'll be back next week."

Did He Ever Return?

"No he never returned
and his fate is still unlearn'd...
He will ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned..."

well I bet Charlie would get his butt off the MTA in a hurry if he knew this sign was for sale at Salvage Chic! Mayor Menino tried to buy it from me to slap on the front of South Station but I was like Sorry Tom, Charlie has to come get this himself. I would be willing to meet him in the Halifax Commuter Rail parking lot, though, so if you see him please pass on the message.