Co-Dependency

Yard Sale Buddy's been M.I.A. so I called him up and learned his dumpster is finally getting picked up tomorrow and he's been feverishly trying to finish cleaning his yard. (YES it has taken a MONTH but that is another story.) He seemed to be having trouble focusing, he kept peppering me "What about those doors should I throw them away, what about those windows should I throw them away, what about those metal chairs..." it was all I could do not to reach through the phone and slap him. "I'll be there in a half hour don't throw ANYthing else away until I get there." He breathed a sigh of relief and said he would make a Dunkin run.

When I got there he wasn't back yet so I hopped out of my Jeep and - you guessed it - scaled the side of the dumpster to see what he had thrown in there. Oh man. All these great windows I have been selling one at a time in the shop for good money, he wasn't supposed to throw those away! Doors galore, I couldn't begin to count... Shoot, he was back, I ducked down and tried to look nonchalant as he yelled GET OUT OF THERE YOU DUMPSTER DIVER.

We strolled around the yard, I was really impressed with the progress he had made but then he held up these old hinges, the kind that snap a screen door shut, and said "I took these off that door before I threw it away..." WHAT! That vintage screen door! I wanted that for my house! "Oh, he says, well it's right on top" and next thing I know he's knee deep in debris in his dumpster trying to find it. Finally he saw it and started digging while I yelled "STOP, STOP, you're going to get hurt... but since you're in there, can you get those windows for me?"

Lions and Tigers and BUREAUS, Oh my...

Just in case they don't last the weekend I wanted to get a shot of these 3 beauties I bagged while I was out hunting this morning! I had a lead from a Realtor Friend that she had seen fresh bureau tracks at a house she sold that has to be vacated tomorrow, so I went over and snared the peach and green ones for a decent price. When it rains it pours, of course, as one of my Pickers showed up later with that chippy white one and of course I HAD to have it. So if you are in need of a bureau come in TODAY because I have plenty of bureaus but what I don't have is SPACE!! Duh maybe I should have thought of that before I bought them?

Spontaneous Combustion

That's exactly what I wished for when I made a grave faux pas on the phone today! I had just left a message for Yard Sale Buddy because someone was looking for old boxing gloves; as usual the phone rang back instantly, I swear he screens his calls. Anyway I answered "Good Morning, Salvage Chic" and I hear this "ahem, yes, my name is Shane and I'm with the Pembroke Fire Department..." I cut him off mid sentence "Oh right, and you're calling to tell me how HOT I am?" (Insert long awkward pause) "Um... no... actually I'm calling to tell you about our Comedy Night Fundraiser..." Oh my god it was so NOT Yard Sale Buddy!! Talk about embarrassing. Of course now I HAD to buy an ad in the program. And if you're not busy Nov. 1st, I have 4 tickets to the show...

Shoplifter's Remorse

Mack's Partner-In-Crime came over today with a lovely set of Lu-Ray dishes and a cryptic "you need to come see me" message referencing old linens. My curiosity was piqued and you can imagine my delight when Mack suddenly showed up volunteering to watch my shop so I could go over to N.O. and browse. Of course, you know me - ever the skeptic - luckily I had some radioactive dye packets to slip into the cash register in case he was planning a heist. Anyway I went over and got some lovely vintage tablecloths; while I was there I spotted this little quilt and when I went over to examine it was told "That's Mack's". As in "Hands Off." I didn't see a price so I just folded it over my arm and brought it back to Salvage Chic where I found Mack innocently reading an old Life Magazine. I tried to crank him up and say "Look what she gave me" with the quilt but he recognized it as his own and demanded to know what I wanted it for. I reminded him that I collect quilts and you know what he said? "Oh, it's for HOME... you can HAVE it... you're a good kid, despite what you write about me on the Internet" Oh man. I couldn't offend him and say No Thanks but now I have to go home and be reminded every time I look at it that Mack is a NICE GUY after all?!? NO THANKS!! Maybe I will bring it back. Would that be like an Indian TAKER? Worst case I could re-gift it to my Mom... oops wait she reads this Blog! I guess I am STUCK with it after all.

Which witch

was spotted out and about earlier this week wearing this disguise? Twas I, Salvage Chick! I had to protect my identity because I don't want people to know where I get all my stuff and more importantly... MACK has been blabbing to YARD SALE BUDDY about my every move as reported on this Blog! I know that Yard Sale Buddy is very sensitive, but I also know that he does not have a computer, so sometimes I write about things I wouldn't want him to know; I didn't realize my readers might RAT ME OUT! Just last Yard Sale Buddy got all up in arms that I went down the Cape to see the Man In the 10 Gallon Hat without him. I couldn't tell him I went there to try to buy that stupid fish sign for his BIRTHDAY so I changed the subject and said "What makes you think I went down there?" and he says "Mack told me". Oh Jesus. He must have passed him a note during seventh period math class, what are we TWELVE?!?

You Know Your House is Dirty When...

your Husband cleans it out of the blue... on his VACATION!! Yikes I knew things have been getting out of hand here, I kept saying I will deep-clean 'after the Yard Sale'... 'After the weekend at the shop'... Of course on my days off I find 1 million other things to do and usually only clean if all options (including root canal appointments) have been exhausted. Like for instance today, Yard Sale Buddy and I made a delivery to this Ritzy Shoppe Owner in Hanover who bought all THREE of my 20 gallon crocks plus a faux fireplace; then I went over to Claudia's to pick up this great bench with a pickety fence/birdhouse back we secured last night at an Undisclosed Location; turned out it wouldn't fit in my Jeep so she invited me to visit some MORE Undisclosed Locations with her and then delivered it to my shop. I must say in that Rally Wagon you do feel like an Antiquing Celebrity! I never thought there would be a vehicle that attracted more attention than Yard Sale Buddy's truck but sure enough Claudia's does. So anyway fast forward to my return home and I walk in, sniff-sniff... something seems different, I greeted Kenny and gingerly asked "Did you... clean?" YES he was all exuberant about it turned out he was relaxing playing his Xbox and he got distracted by what he thought was a 3rd cat hanging out in the corner (we only have 2) and it turned out it was a DUST BUNNY!

All's Fair in Love...

...and Birdhouses, apparently! Last week a friend brought me this fabulous marten house to sell at Salvage Chic. "No problem!" I said, "Let's put it out on the sidewalk, I bet it won't last the weekend!" Truer words have never been spoken. No sooner was it there than Yard Sale Buddy pulled up and started ogling it. I graciously suggested he could buy it from my friend, at the price of just the commission she would get if I sold it to a 3rd party... after all I don't need to make money off of my FRIENDS right? Insert SO-CALLED before friends there because later that night I got a message to "Please pull the marten house because it has been SOLD"... that's right, to YARD SALE BUDDY! Those two-timers went behind my back and wheeled and dealed!! The kicker is when I suggested Yard Sale Buddy buy it, I stipulated that after he fixed it up and resold it I would get a cut for brokering the initial deal... but even craftier was my FRIEND, who gave him a hugely sweetheart deal and then stipulated "But you can't resell it!" Hmph little does she know he would sell his own mother for a buck. I hope she put a Lojack in the thing to track it down after it's GONE for $1 more than he paid for it.