The Stalking Is Done in Pembroke With Care

in hopes that the Salvage Chick soon will be there! Yard Sale Buddy has been teasing me that this guy is sweet on me because he keeps coming into the shop and buying things, when he never spends a cent over at YSB's Yard Sale. I decided just in case he missed my wedding ring I should alert him to the fact that I'm a happily married woman, but couldn't find a way to work it into the conversation. Like one day he held up this "Official Blizzard of '78 Measuring Stick" and asked how old I was during that storm; "Four" I replied and then DUH smacked myself in the head after he left because I should've added "My HUSBAND wasn't even born yet then." Somewhere along the way I did manage to break the news to him, he did not seem overly crushed so when he asked what my Husband does for a living I simply replied "He's in Technology" instead of (DUH!) "He is the Heavyweight Champion of the Universe." Will I never learn? So today I was over at Yard Sale Buddy's delivering some potato salad and he had this Art Deco bureau that is falling apart (something that tends to happen when you leave them out in the rain for 4 or 5 months) and we decided we should salvage the hardware to sell on eBay. YSB ducked into his shed to get the right screwdriver when all of a sudden SCREECH who pulls into the driveway but The Guy. I busied myself pretending to scrutinize the hardware with my back to the driveway so I could roll my eyes at Yard Sale Buddy when he saw who had arrived. His face lit up with that "BOY I'm gonna have some fun with this one" look and I thought, Here We Go... so the three of us made some small talk until suddenly The Guy screamed "WAIT! HOLD STILL" like a rattlesnake was about to spring upon me, and then he reached over and gingerly pulled a leaf out of my hair. Yard Sale Buddy could barely contain himself and after The Guy finally left he spent 10 minutes re-enacting the moment each time getting more and more creative: "WAIT! Don't think I am trying to feel you up but there is something right THERE on your chest!" Calm Down! I told him; You are not helping matters! Why can't you slip some helpful lines into the conversation like "It's amazing how much Her Husband resembles Dennis Rodman" or "Hey, I heard Your Husband finally made the Green Berets" RIGHT, RIGHT, he exclaimed, or How about, "I heard Kenny beat the sh*t out of some guy who was stalking you"? Yeah, that would probably work!