When Good Furniture Goes Bad

It can turn on you at any given moment, even when you've raised it from infancy.

A friend of mine's parents are downsizing and she asked me if I could sell a few pieces of furniture for them that they didn't want to let go at yard sale prices. Sure! I said; Bring whatever you have... knowing that this family has impeccable taste in the spirit of Salvage Chic.

She arrived a few days later with some fabulous items and this old gossip bench that looked great at first glance but on further inspection, it had some issues. I guess they used it on their porch and there were some spots where the black paint had flaked off revealing pink underneath. It just didn't look right and I was about to say something when I realized - DOH! Her mom bought that piece from ME a few years ago! So much for that paint that was billed as one-coat-everlasting-coverage.

The bench landed in the shop's back room and sat there for a few days like that
Elephant In The Room that no one wants to talk about. I was vaguely toying with the idea of trying to find a fabric that would complement the black and pink to recover the seat with when Jack showed up with another needy piece of furniture and broke out his trusty sander.

For those of you who don't know Jack, he's like the Furniture Whisperer when it comes to painting and distressing; he can take the ugliest duckling and make it beautiful. So I said "While you're out here..." and brought him him my Problem Pet Bench which he started lovingly kissing with his sander. A smidge here, a smidge there, more little hints of pink started appearing. Still, it was not looking right to me and Queen of Impatience that I am, in a moment of madness I grabbed the sander from him. 10 seconds later I was past the point of no return and it was NOT GOOD.





I stood back, frowning, with my fist tucked under my chin like Tim Gunn from Project Runway, trying to find a nice way to say "This looks like s**t." Ever the optimist, Jack said "I don't know, it looks kind of like..." He struggled for words. "What, Jack, like someone tried to forcefeed a hyena Pepto Bismol and things ended badly???" Ummm... yeah. SIGH. Off to find some black paint.